And Then He Was Five…
I’m not going to lie. I’m having a hard time with this birthday. 5. 5? How has it been 5 years since we forced you out into this world? If you had your choice you would probably still be all warm and snugly in my belly. Knowing you and your affinity for comfy clothes, cozy blankets and lazy days. It all makes sense now why you were in no rush to make your entrance into the world.
5 is big. 5 is a whole hand. 5 is the year you are going to start kindergarten. Maybe lose your first tooth. Learn to ride a two wheeler. If you’re like me you will remember being 5. I kind of feel like 5 is the beginning of the end. You are clearly not a baby anymore and you are just going to keep getting older and older and needing me less and less. I’ve always used 5 as a gauge as to how old you are. Last year I thought I have one more year until you are a big boy. And now here it is. There’s no denying it. You are a big boy.
I feel such a huge responsibility to make the right choices for you. To give you everything you need to grow up to be a responsible and caring human being. It weighs on me heavily each day. I’m hard on you. Because I know your potential. But when it comes down to it you have everything you need. You are smart. You are inquisitive and love learning. You are sensitive. Sometimes too sensitive for your own good but you have a huge heart. You have a huge imagination. The world is your stage. You are a leader. Others might not always want to follow but I admire your tenacity and once you learn how to listen and compromise a little better I have no doubt that you will be a great leader. You are a great artist. But, you are a perfectionist (just like your Mama) which can be a good and a bad thing. You do not like to try new things. It’s hard to push you out of your comfort zone. Almost every time you try something new you love it so I will continue to push. You are the best big brother in the world. Seeing you and your sister together is my greatest joy. I hope you always laugh together the way you do now.
Brayden, you make me so proud. You are my greatest accomplishment. Thank you for making me a Mama. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for allowing me to see the world through your eyes. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for taking my face in your hands last night and telling me you will always be my baby. Because you will always be my baby. Even when you are taller than me and when your hands are bigger than mine you will always, always, always be my baby.
I love you more than all the starfish in the sky.